Another joke thread- There were these two..

Steve N

Distinguished Member
My sexy Chinese girlfriend took me upstairs and said she would do anything I wanted as it was my birthday.
"Er, lovely. How about some 69" :)
"I'm not bloody cooking at this time of night" :eek:
 

Monty Nine

Well-known Member
My sexy Chinese girlfriend took me upstairs and said she would do anything I wanted as it was my birthday.
"Er, lovely. How about some 69" :)
"I'm not bloody cooking at this time of night" :eek:
Cream of Sum Yung Gy?
 

mikes48

Distinguished Member
The idea of zero being invented sounds daft but did you know that the Roman civilisation lasted 1,500 years without the need for a zero in their numbering system.

Cheers,

Nigel
They didn't have a word for Yes or No either - assuming that is, that they spoke Latin 🤔.

I knew that learning Latin at school in the 60's would come in handy one day :laugh:.
 

imightbewrong

Distinguished Member
We'll have to tread carefully next time.
 

nvingo

Well-known Member
ROTFL :rotfl:
 

imightbewrong

Distinguished Member
Ok enough of these puns - I call for a revolution
 

Monty Nine

Well-known Member
My parents took me to the cheapest wildlife park ever, it only had one animal.

It was a Shih Tzu
 

Doug the D

Member
Had a fantastic childhood. Dad would put me in a tyre and roll me down the hill. They were good years!!
What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 condoms?

One's a Goodyear.
The other is a really Goodyear
 

sergiup

Distinguished Member
The recent quality of "humour" makes me feel like you've let us all down...
 

sue_hall

Well-known Member
Chinese takeaway £24.

Taxi to deliver it £4.

Realising they have forgotten part of your order...

Riceless.
 

Tempest

Distinguished Member
My girlfriend dumped me so i took her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back
 

Steve N

Distinguished Member
The recent quality of "humour" makes me feel like you've let us all down...
There was an inflatable boy, and he goes to an inflatable school. While there, he finds himself having a really bad day. Bored with the lesson, he gets up and walks out of the inflatable classroom but, while walking down the corridor, he sees the inflatable headmaster approaching him.

The inflatable boy pulls out a pin and punctures the inflatable headmaster before running out of the inflatable school gates. Just as he gets past the gates, he thinks again, "I hate school", and once more pulls out his pin and pokes it into the inflatable school. He then runs as fast as his inflatable legs allow, all the way home and races into his inflatable bedroom.

A couple of hours later, his inflatable mother is knocking at his bedroom door and with her are the inflatable Police. Panicking, our inflatable boy yet again pulls out the pin and jabs it into himself. Later on that evening, he wakes up in an inflatable hospital and, in the bed next to him, he sees the inflatable headmaster.

Shaking his deflated head - more in sorrow than in anger - the Headmaster gravely intones:

"You've let me down; you've let the school down, but worst of all, you've let yourself down."
 

Steve N

Distinguished Member
Two guy checking out some jackets in a shop window.

One says;
"That's the one I'd get"

And a Cyclops comes around the corners and beats the crap out of him :eek:
 

maxwell

Distinguished Member
Really need a groan smiley
 

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