At the risk of adding fuel to the fire, I should point out that Rian Johnson recently did a podcast where he addresses most of the points raised here about TLJ.
/Filmcast Ep. 451 - An Evening with Rian Johnson, Director of Star Wars: The Last Jedi – /Film
Or direct link:
https://traffic.megaphone.fm/PPY2742138537.mp3
Of particular interest was that he wrote the script when TFA was still in production. That is, he was building on a script and not what we saw in the theaters nor fan reaction when making those story decisions. And they ask him about every single choice during this interview and he is quite candid, and doesn’t dismiss fan criticism.
So, for example, he was definitely constructing a f*** you moment in the parental lineage discussion but it was pointed at the character in the scene, not the fans, as a way to construct the most challenging arc for that character's development. “What was the hardest thing for Luke to hear about his lineage? That his arch enemy was his father?” So, what’s the hardest thing for the character in TLJ to hear?....
I’m not saying any of that will change your mind but at least you’ll get the data from the author, since a whole bunch of this episode of the avforums podcast contained speculation about the author's intent...and he is quite happy to tell us his intent for each story decision, and not in a way that dismisses fans who dislike those choices, which is nice.