Becoming a parent

Welling up reading what you went through, I can’t imagine how tough that was but so glad to see him doing so well now. They are tough little things aren’t they.

Nephew has been transferred to another hospital in Oxford for specialist care. My sister will follow tonight, as she was in a pretty bad shape herself after all this with bleeding through the night, but on the mend now. Just have to wait and see what damage this has left on the little guy. He’s off oxygen, and has been awake and responding to stimulus, so positive signs. He was also just shy of 7lbs so not a bad weight at all for 4-5 weeks prem.

Sorry, probably not the best place to offload but this really helps having somewhere to talk about it.


Don’t be daft mate!! You vent on here, it’s totally fine :)

Happy to chat on here or PM if it helps.

It was horrendous and if I’m honest I well up every time I think about it. I’ll never forget how defenceless and the awful noises of the feeding tube being inserted.

I’m not ashamed to say I cried and cried, even the nurses were asking if I was ok. However he is a tough boy and so is your nephew! Archie was really poorly but is totally fine now and there’s no reason your nephew won’t be the same.

I told my mrs his story and she cried! The joys of being a parent I’m afraid!
 
Wow!!! sniff... Wow!!
 
A slight change of pace to Daft Ada's current situation (actually really good news though, what an absolute trooper that boy is!). My boy turned 1 on the 9th April and we found out a couple of days later that my wife is expecting again! We'd decided to try in terms of 'see what happens' and its happened far sooner than expected. Due around November 25th so assuming all goes to plan, we're gonna have 2 under 2... :facepalm:
 
Thanks! Gonna be an interesting experience but the positive is that, in theory at least, we won't be looking at having another newborn 5 years down the line...
 
true, just the 1 child for me and the mrs! That was traumatic enough thanks

Well she was wanting 4!!:eek::eek::eek:

The pregnancy and birth were traumatic enough for her (thankfully, little one was absolutely fine so I only had the one human to actively worry about) that she agreed my suggestion of no more than two. So far, this pregnancy is proving just as horrendous as she's already been admitted to hospital due to her 'morning' sickness (she is yet again suffering from hyperemesis which apparently affects roughly 2% of all women :facepalm:) but since we know what worked last time and she's under the same hospital, hopefully that continues to work this time so it is more manageable but stopping at 2 is definitely agreed (for) now :clap:
 
Cheers guys. So, update on my nephew, and it's looking very positive. He's out of special care, off the ventilator now and back at our local hospital. He'll still be in the hospital for another week at least and it may be a while before they determine any long-term issues, but such a turn around from his prospects a few days ago. It's unbelievable how much of a difference those few days have made, and he's getting a little stronger every day. I'm hoping to visit over the weekend :)

With regards to our little chap, he kicked for the first time yesterday! I had my cheek rested on my wife's tum as he did so too. Been proudly telling my mates that my lad kicks like Chuck Norris :)
 
Little Bailey:
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Cheers guys. So, update on my nephew, and it's looking very positive. He's out of special care, off the ventilator now and back at our local hospital. He'll still be in the hospital for another week at least and it may be a while before they determine any long-term issues, but such a turn around from his prospects a few days ago. It's unbelievable how much of a difference those few days have made, and he's getting a little stronger every day. I'm hoping to visit over the weekend :)

With regards to our little chap, he kicked for the first time yesterday! I had my cheek rested on my wife's tum as he did so too. Been proudly telling my mates that my lad kicks like Chuck Norris :)

Amazing feeling isn’t it :)
 
My nephew is home and doing really well. :) I had a nice cuddle with him at the weekend, amazed to see such a difference in just a few weeks. The hospital have reached out to my sister to say they're investigating how they managed to miss a heartbeat and pulse after two examinations. I just hope they tighten up their processes and it means no other couple have to go through that pain unnecessarily in future.

We're in week 26 now, and our little lad is doing well. My wife had a check-up yesterday and he's right in the middle of the growth curve and looking on course for early September. He's been kicking quite regularly now too, which has been great to see. I don't know how other dads on here have felt but I feel a tad detached from the whole process, so feeling a kick or two here and there is reassuring.
 
Great news mate!! Epic fail on the hospitals part but with a happy ending at least!!


Archie has been enjoying the beach and is getting rather cheeky

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if I may just quote Elizabeth Gilbert, "Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit.”

I know few friends who had been "unwilling" to become parents, but the moment that the kids were given to them, they told me it was life-changing. They realised that they want them more than anything in their life.
 
Yeah feeling pretty nervous now!

Nephew is doing well, thank you for asking. So far no issues, bless him. He’s a very feisty little guy!

Pic attached, ignore my ugly mug!
 

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He looks like he’s giving you right evils :D tough little man!!

I think my advice would be that it will be very hard, probably harder than you could ever imagine sometimes (certainly how I found it), it will push your relationship to its limits with lack of sleep / patience etc..

You’ll worry about everything and it’ll feel like everything could harm your little one.

However, in a year or so time when you walk in from work to the sound of footsteps and your little one screaming “Daddy” and running off in sheer excitement to tell anyone who’ll listen it’ll be worth every second.

I’ve had some days where I’ve felt so low and miserable (other reasons not little one) and walking in to that makes everything disappear!

And this is from someone who always hated the thought of kids and would never have one..

I feel like Archie is at the sweet spot now where he is starting to develop a personality and it’s hilarious, if a little trying!!! He looks at a car on tv and says car, Choo choo is his latest one.

That said, would I have another.... NO!
 
Baby Rupert landed 4:31am, weighing 6lb 9oz. Thankfully all went well, and according to our midwife it was a very speedy delivery for a first time birth. My wife was fantastic, and recovering well but my God it was hard watching her go through all that.
 
Amazing!!!! Welcome to parenthood..

How does it feel knowing your life as you knew it effectively ended at 4.31:D

it’s brutal watching someone you care about experience that and knowing that there is basically nothing you can do at all to help them..

Are you back home with him?
 
Ahhh it feels amazing! Everything people told us about it being the hardest but most rewarding thing we’ll ever do were not kidding. I love the little guy so much. Every little frown or squeaky cry melts my heart.

Lack of sleep has been tough though. I went 36 hours without sleep by the time he arrived and we got on the maternity ward. Wife sent me home for a few hours to recharge but it felt awful leaving them there on their own. Not ashamed to admit I cried most of the way home!

We all got back home late on Monday night and slowly trying to get into a routine. He’s not been feeding too well overnight but we had a midwife visit earlier and she gave us some good tips to encourage him to work at it (he’s a lazy feeder, just like I was). Family have been great too, doing chores and giving us time to catch up on sleep. Honestly don’t know how some people cope when they’re on their own without a good support network.
 
Honestly don’t know how some people cope when they’re on their own without a good support network.
We get there and even manage two more :D They're 15, 17 and 24 now. And I really need a good support network now :laugh:
 
Ahhh it feels amazing! Everything people told us about it being the hardest but most rewarding thing we’ll ever do were not kidding. I love the little guy so much. Every little frown or squeaky cry melts my heart.

Lack of sleep has been tough though. I went 36 hours without sleep by the time he arrived and we got on the maternity ward. Wife sent me home for a few hours to recharge but it felt awful leaving them there on their own. Not ashamed to admit I cried most of the way home!

We all got back home late on Monday night and slowly trying to get into a routine. He’s not been feeding too well overnight but we had a midwife visit earlier and she gave us some good tips to encourage him to work at it (he’s a lazy feeder, just like I was). Family have been great too, doing chores and giving us time to catch up on sleep. Honestly don’t know how some people cope when they’re on their own without a good support network.


Awesome!! Yep it’s pretty brutal. The key is to have help and sleep when you can.

keep us updated on things..
 
Immediately after the birth of our first my wife looked at me and said , "that wasn't so bad I could do that again". I couldn't help but wonder if she'd been in the same room as me :eek: :D.

I couldn't have done it. Well obviously, but you know what I mean :laugh:
 

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