Ex- Labour MP, Fiona Onasanya, charged with perverting the course of Justice

Well it's sold at least one.


And just to be clear - yes, she really does end most of the paragraphs in this book with at least two exclamation marks!!

It pulls no punches:

Here's an actual paragraph from chapter three, which is so boring it's practically a work of art:

"The evening of the GC came around really quickly. I got my bike and cycled to Alex Wood Hall. There were a few people already there when I arrived. "Would you like a tea or coffee?" "No thank you" I replied; "I don't drink tea or coffee!" The person asking looked quite surprised. Recalling it now makes me wonder if they believed me or thought that was my way of declining an offer of a hot drink. That said, I was more than happy to help myself to a biccy (or two!)."


Major plot points:

On three separate occasions in the book, she brings up her habit of randomly ordering cups of ice so she can crunch them. But it isn't until we learn that the first thing she did after leaving prison was asking her mum to take her somewhere she can get a cup of ice that we realise this isn't a habit so much as a way of life.

And the only reason for anyone being interested to buy the book doesn't get covered:

Throughout the book, she insists she wasn't guilty of perverting the course of justice - but strangely never once makes reference to why she ended up in court in the first place.

A short chapter on her time in parliament abruptly ends by cutting to her in court. But she never references the speeding offence, just insists that she is not guilty of a crime she refuses to directly mention.


The harsh reality of life inside:

She confesses to a police officer that she takes spice "all the time" because she thinks they're referring to seasoning, gets told "this ain't Costa" when she asks for almond milk with her prison breakfast cereal, and assumes prisoners are referring to security company G4S when they're referring to inmates who are "gay for the stay".

At one point, she describes hearing a radio report stating that numerous people have written to the attorney general complaining that her sentence is too lenient, as she is confused why people don't see she has had her "liberty removed".

But by reading this memoir, you wouldn't think she had a terrible time behind bars. Her most traumatic stories include seeing a naked inmate dancing outside the shower room to annoy the guards, and having to eat a tin of spaghetti hoops for a meal.


I remember how she compared herself to what Christ went through. I'm sure we remember the part in the Gospels when he didn't get his almond milk and eat spaghetti hoops.

Wasn't she a solicitor and MP? Aren't MPs supposed to be so knowledgeable and constituents should trust their decisions as they know better?
 
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The BBC has joined in the fun. That's when you really have hit rock bottom.


She now hopes to "become a voice" for the women she met in prison.

I find it odd, given her brother Festus, she claims to be so naive on chemical inspiration.

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a massive 122 page self-published paperback/ebook
- I wonder if she kept all her taxpayer funded IT equipment to knock this pamphlet out, rather than left it to her successor or donated to charity, as recommended
 
Is nothing sacred to the PC crowd?

And they are Elves not boys.

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