I May Destroy You (BBC/HBO) TV Show Review & Comments

Casimir Harlow

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Thanks for the review Cas.

We'd seen this advertised but wasn't sure about whether we'd both "enjoy" it. When you say "a hard watch" is that because of the subject matter or because it's graphic/grim (or maybe elements of both)? If you had a BBFC hat on how would you classify it?
 
Thanks for the review Cas.

We'd seen this advertised but wasn't sure about whether we'd both "enjoy" it. When you say "a hard watch" is that because of the subject matter or because it's graphic/grim (or maybe elements of both)? If you had a BBFC hat on how would you classify it?

It's not graphic, but it's very honest and definitely for adults, not least because of the language, but also because of what is, if not explicit, then certainly implied. It's a hard watch mostly for psychological reasons; I guess partly because these characters have so much wit and life and energy, but have all been damaged in ways that you can visibly see from their development across the episodes. It's hard because it's tragic more than because it's Irreversible or Requiem for a Dream.

Interestingly I think the themes and ideas of assault - across an age range of victims - would actually be worth introducing to teens (at least), particularly wrt to the excellent school flashback episode, but no parent's ever going to want to watch it with their kids lol.
 
Okay, thanks. It sounds like it'd still probably be an uncomfortable watch - which I suppose is partly the point, as well as opening up the discussion.

My wife didn't watch either Irreversible or Requiem For A Dream. I "pre-screened" those films (a bit arrogant or presumptuous of me I guess) and I thought "Nope!".
 
Okay, thanks. It sounds like it'd still probably be an uncomfortable watch - which I suppose is partly the point, as well as opening up the discussion.

My wife didn't watch either Irreversible or Requiem For A Dream. I "pre-screened" those films (a bit arrogant or presumptuous of me I guess) and I thought "Nope!".
I think it is a fair approach. You obviously know your wife well, & what she would like watching (I stay away from "enjoy" with topics like this has)
We do the same - we will both watch trailers seperately, & tell each other "You wouldn't enjoy this" or "this isn't something you want to watch" without feeling manipulative, as we each know what the other Is interested in / angered by / uncomfortable with.
 
Thanks for the Review Cas.
 
Thanks for the heads up on this one it’s looks a tough watch but possibly a very informative one.Its rare that tv can delve into such a difficult subject matter and actually open the publics eyes to the uncomfortable truth.If I may destroy you can can expose the harsh ugly realities of sexual assault in the manner that Ken loach did for homelessness in Cathy Come Home all those years ago then I for one will definitely champion it.
 
I thought this looked interesting so I have it on series record. I've not been on top form recently so I'm mainly watching lightweight and cheery stuff. I will get round to it once I feel a bit better.

Bri
 
I thought this looked interesting so I have it on series record. I've not been on top form recently so I'm mainly watching lightweight and cheery stuff. I will get round to it once I feel a bit better.

Bri
I too find myself avoiding anything too heavy right now, though I did watch & really enjoyed both Uncut Gems & Last Flag Flying recently, as they are so far away from my own experiences., and had a dark humour within.
 
I too find myself avoiding anything too heavy right now, though I did watch & really enjoyed both Uncut Gems & Last Flag Flying recently, as they are so far away from my own experiences., and had a dark humour within.
I'm still deciding on whether to watch this. But if you "enjoyed" Uncut Gems then you can enjoy anything lol. I think Uncut Gems was one of the best films of the year, alongside Parasite and Joker. You could add honourable mentions for the Lighthouse and the Nightingale. But I don't think I "enjoyed" any of them. Uncut Gems was for me a very uneasy watch and that ending was extremely stressful.

Anyway this does sound interesting. Cas' review talks about how the main character isn't someone you necessarily "like". Cas would you say that the writer through this character is honestly exploring the consequencies of bad decision making? If true, then this would be a breakthrough.

2019 for me was the year of well executed realistic and disturbing TV & cinema.
 
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I'm still deciding on whether to watch this. But if you "enjoyed" Uncut Gems then you can enjoy anything lol. I think Uncut Gems was one of the best films of the year, alongside Parasite and Joker. You could add honourable mentions for the Lighthouse and the Nightingale. But I don't think I "enjoyed" any of them. Uncut Gems was for me a very uneasy watch and that ending was extremely stressful.

Anyway this does sound interesting. Cas' review talks about how the main character isn't someone you necessarily "like". Cas would you say that the writer through this character is honestly exploring the consequencies of bad decision making? If true, then this would be a breakthrough.

2019 for me was the year of well executed realistic and disturbing TV & cinema.

It's hard to call it bad decision-making - they're the only decisions she can make really. She's on red alert, her spikes are up, and she's really hurting. The result of that is the basically everybody around her is going to get hurt, which is going to make her a hard person to 'like', even if you can totally understand why she's become that way.

It's very honest, warts and all.
 
It's hard to call it bad decision-making - they're the only decisions she can make really. She's on red alert, her spikes are up, and she's really hurting. The result of that is the basically everybody around her is going to get hurt, which is going to make her a hard person to 'like', even if you can totally understand why she's become that way.

It's very honest, warts and all.
Thanks Cas. Coel (like Waller Bridge) is a brilliant and original talent. This is a show that under normal circumstances would be a no brainer for me to watch. I only pause because of general media landscape at the moment. For example I think that it is unfair that the Emmy nominated co-director of this show is routinely ignored by most reviewers. Michaela "co-directed" 9 out of the 12 episodes.

Anyway I will almost certainly watch the show.

Cheers Cas :)
 
Thanks Cas. Coel (like Waller Bridge) is a brilliant and original talent. This is a show that under normal circumstances would be a no brainer for me to watch. I only pause because of general media landscape at the moment. For example I think that it is unfair that the Emmy nominated co-director of this show is routinely ignored by most reviewers. Michaela "co-directed" 9 out of the 12 episodes.

Anyway I will almost certainly watch the show.

Cheers Cas :)

Heh, sure, from a reviewer's perspective the decision is not always political though. Personally, for my reviews, I don't always feel like listing every name and individual in any production (for example, Arabella's best friends are vital players); there's only so much you can cover in a few hundred words (case in point was when I singled out the cinematography in 1917).

On reflection, do I now feel the need to clarify that it was co-directing, some of the episodes, and that her fellow director had also done some good work on Luther but, more recently, given us a couple of episodes of... Snowpiercer? Probably not.

So, like you say, what was noteworthy for me was the fact that she - like PWB - had become a young 'auteur' in many respects, creating, writing, directing and starring in a show is quite an accomplishment.

Hope you check it out!
 
I really liked the show. It is groundbreaking on how it deals with the effects of sexual assault. What is consent, what isn't? Like how the characters are drawn, they are complex. I like that the show isn't predictable.


The protagonist, Bella, is raped and then can't get traction in her work and life because of it. The final episode is innovative, it gives us three endings.
The first is revenge on the rapist without giving him a chance to explain himself. Beating him up.
The second one: she gives the rapist a chance to explain himself and he's full of hate.
The third one: she turns the tables on him, then takes him back home and makes love to him.

Love wins. She makes peace with her past, thus being able to finish her book.

Kwame is a self-loathing submissive, raped by someone he met on Grindr, then can't come to terms with what happened and the police can't help him. He meets someone who doesn't want to treat him as a piece of meat, allowing him to begin the process of healing himself.


There is a significant problem with the show. It starts off as a show about a party-goer and promiscious woman who is raped and she must figure out who did it. Unfortunately, the show doesn't stick with that storyline, it shoots off into various subplots before checking back in in the final episode. There is a lack of satisfaction because characters are dropped, especially from the first two episodes.

Still, despite its problem, it's well worth a watch.
 

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