Men who work in nuseries - am I being irrational

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Paul_HDLover

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hi all, my son starting new nursery in few weeks and wife told me there are guys working in the room. Fully qualified guys, crb checked etc but I am feeling a little uncomfortable with the thought of a man changing my sons nappy or taking him to the toilet.

I know this sounds really irrational, but I feel like I am prepared to put my sons safety in front of accusations of being prejudiced and hoping to seek guidance from members here as to how I can approach these thoughts, or am I just being absolutely ridiculous?

My tin hat is on....
 
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Being ridiculous. Close the thread.
 
You're not being irrational - you are being a parent.

These guys change many many nappies and take kids to the toilet all day, every day they work.

The worry you have will slowly abate over time and eventually you'll think nothing of blokes changing nappies. Just something you'll get used to. If need be have a chat with them and get to know them.
 
Your feelings are similar to those i had when I had the boy in one nursery, but once I got to know the guy and how he looked after my son, I had no problems. I've had more questionable female nurses tbh.
 
You are being a parent and that's ok, why not ask to go into the nursery and sit and watch what is happening, how do the kids interact with the male nursery nurses (and the female ones add well to be honest), that's what you need to see. There had been a bit written about the positive effects male nursery workers can have on the kids, if nothing else it shows the kids that we can all do any job, there will be male teachers and teaching assistants at school who may help with toileting in reception class so it's worth accepting that this is normal now, the best way for you to feel comfortable though is to go in and spend a couple of hours observing
 
It's fair enough to be worried, we're all human and all parents are irrational at times. Personally I'm pleased that there's a male member of staff at my kid's nursery. It gives her another male adult role model and more experience of dealing with men when the majority of her contact is with women.
 
Thanks so far for the useful feedback. I hope my concerns are allayed when I get to meet them and watch their interactions with the kids. I just sometimes wonder why a man would go on a 10 month college course to put nappies on dolls, amongst other things of course. It makes no sense to me at all. Clearly I need to get more street wise like you gents clearly are.
 
I suppose I would counter that with, why wouldn't they do the course?

Men or women can work in any field and be good at it, seeing all genders in all jobs will be good for the kids
 
It's attitudes like this that have all but driven men out of primary schools & child social work, which are now almost wholly dominated by women. Very sad & unhealthy IMO.
 
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It's attitudes like this that have all but driven men out of primary schools & social work, which are now almost wholly dominated by women. Very sad & unhealthy IMO.

Agree with this - there appear to be very few male teachers in primary schools etc these days. In our primary school there are only two male teachers, I think the children would benefit from a better / more equal mix of male to female teachers. Not that female teachers are bad but not having any male authority / teaching figures cannot be good?
 
I agree to some extent, but it is also up to the men in these professions to normalise things, to be mindful of people's possible perceptions and to show there is nothing to fear, by running away and leaving these roles normalisation will never occur
 
I agree to some extent, but it is also up to the men in these professions to normalise things, to be mindful of people's possible perceptions and to show there is nothing to fear, by running away and leaving these roles normalisation will never occur

I disagree its up to parents and society to accept it not the person who is doing the job. If they are "running away" it will be because of others perception that drove them away.

The post above [post 8] showed that there is an irrational fear of men in nursery and primary education which is just not born out by any evidence
 
I think we all have a role to play, parents and society but also everyone in the profession. If men withdraw from a profession it will feed the suspicions and there will be no positive roll models. As a nurse who happens to be male I know a little about this
 
So it makes sense for a woman to do a 10 month course to change nappies but not a man? Why exactly is that?
Was it not a couple of females that got done last year for sexual abuse of children in a nursery? So surely you should be worried about the females too?
I do not agree with saying that since you are a parent that these fears are justified. They are not. They are sexist and irrational and does nothing to protect your child.
 
I think we all have a role to play, parents and society but also everyone in the profession. If men withdraw from a profession it will feed the suspicions and there will be no positive roll models. As a nurse who happens to be male I know a little about this

I totally understand but why do you have to add thick skin to your professionalism if you are just doing your job. The difference between children and adults in teaching is that the kids actually dont care its the parents.
 
Because it's our job to promote the profession and uphold is standards. Part of the teachers job is to teach the parents as well. ...
Although to be fair, I actually think it is really or job to understand and be mindful of the prejudices that may be present and to deal with them in a professional constructive manner that deals with this and makes it irrelevant. That doesn't mean ignoring it and it doesn't mean leaving the job I love
 
Surely your job or a teachers job is to look after the people (adult or children ) in your care. Yes try and educate the bigots as well but dont denigrate people who leave because of that bigotry.

I do understand what you are saying but never blame the person who just cant hack it, or indeed the people who wont join the profession
 
I just checked our school for a laugh - our infant school has one male teacher out of six (none next year) and a female Head. Our Junior school has one male teacher out of 12 (bet you can't guess what subject he is the head of ;) ) and a male Head and Deputy Head.

Our nursery was all women obv. but we quit there anyway. One small room for 10 hours - no thanks :)
 
Ok not blame but mention that they shouldnt leave
But if all males leave these professions who will demonstrate that the fears are irrational and unfounded?

In reality, these concerns are not a massive issue for most professionals, they can be delt with quickly and easily in most cases.
 
But having to constantly defend or explain yourself is going to be tiring. As is all the snide looks etc. As a professional why should you have to justify your ability to do your job. It must be really insulting to have parents want or need to watch you do your job because they think you may abuse their child.
 
I'd imagine it's not constant, but equally parents need to feel comfortable with where they place their children and if watching the general feel of the nursery and seeing how the kids interact with the staff puts their minds at rest I can't imagine many professionals would have an issue. In fact our local nursery encourages parents to come in and observe how their children are doing and how they are interacting
 
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