Who does not have or want kids?

It never crossed my mind what time the baby would be arriving, whether I'd be big in winter or summer or how I could plan my maternity leave...
We just tried for a baby, it took 6 months and all we cared about was that he was healthy.
And I worked until the day before he was due (he arrived right on time).

Same here, took us 7 months and we too, just want a healthy baby of either sex (arriving anytime now).
 
All my children were born in an October and other than being the oldest in their class they were not noticably larger/smaller, co-ordinated/unco-ordinated, outgoing/quiet, intellectually developed/ under-developed compared with any of the others, it appears that other factors were probably more significant and being taught all together I suspect quickly evened out any age related "head start" effects.
IMHO
 
All my children were born in an October and other than being the oldest in their class they were not noticably larger/smaller, co-ordinated/unco-ordinated, outgoing/quiet, intellectually developed/ under-developed compared with any of the others, it appears that other factors were probably more significant and being taught all together I suspect quickly evened out any age related "head start" effects.
IMHO

My 7yr old son was also born in October - and apart from him being the tallest in the class, I don't think there is a really significant advantage.

However, as he learns through the medium of Welsh but comes from an English speaking home, he has had some disadvantages that may have evened things out.
 
Kids born in September to December are always taller, but not necessarily cleverer. Infact from patterns I have noticed, the ones born January to august are sometimes cleverer, but obviously there are more months there. don't take it personally though, this is just what I have noticed.
 
:eek: I'm a summer baby and I did better than my peers at school. My brother's from November and let say he wasn't an academic...

It might be a bit simple to generalise like that.

As with any trend there will be exceptions.

If the data supports a statistically significant trend which it does then a generalisation is fine. Time of year alone is not significant enough to be the deciding factor in academic achievement but none the less it is still an influencing factor.
 
And that there is why I don't want them.

You are going on the fact that creating a life and putting all your energies into another human works out well.

I can't build a shelf let alone care for something it took 30secs to make.

I don't want to come across as bitter to other people who are happy with kids, but as has been said before how come we are missing out on a possible joy that may end up with us wanting to kill each other.

Post Natal Depression for women. (Can men get it?)
Stress and not being able to cope.

There are so many ways it could end badly.

Just looking for another old post here, and found this one! Made me smile.

Here I am locked down with a 7 and 4 year old.......Life has a habit of changing wildly!
 
Just looking for another old post here, and found this one! Made me smile.

Here I am locked down with a 7 and 4 year old.......Life has a habit of changing wildly!
For reference, I still can't really put up a shelf!
 
i never really wanted them in my early years but as time has moved on it's become the one thing i think about. i think this means i want them 🙃 family is the only thing i really care about as i get older. friends will (and have for me) move on and have families of their own and you'll become second place.
nearly everyone i know has kids now and you certainly don't want to not have kids in the street i live in. it's a baby making factory 😌 i've felt huge pressure to have them (societal and personal). it's all i see, everywhere, all the time. anyone happy not too have them, it's great and will be a peaceful decision i'm sure!
 
Any other 'never'ers flipped to the other side? :)
 
i never really wanted them in my early years but as time has moved on it's become the one thing i think about. i think this means i want them 🙃 family is the only thing i really care about as i get older. friends will (and have for me) move on and have families of their own and you'll become second place.
nearly everyone i know has kids now and you certainly don't want to not have kids in the street i live in. it's a baby making factory 😌 i've felt huge pressure to have them (societal and personal). it's all i see, everywhere, all the time. anyone happy not too have them, it's great and will be a peaceful decision i'm sure!

Nobody should be or feel pressured to have children, the decision to have them or not should be yours and yours only.

It's one of life's choices, there's no wrong decision only what works for both of you


Any other 'never'ers flipped to the other side? :)


Err nope, and still happy with our decision
 
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I've always thought it would be good to able to live your life twice, once with and once without kids. There are underniably amazing additions to your life that you just couldn't get without kids, but likewise there are a lot of compromises you have to make. I chose the kids route and wouldn't change a thing, but I do ponder from time to time what I would be doing right now if I didn't have them. It's not to say I couldn't do some of things now I have kids, it's just that you have to consider so many more variables.
 
Ideally kids would be born around aged 7 ish, then perhaps grow to about 10 or 11 at a push then stop.
Perhaps then to vanish and reappear about 40 years later to look after you when your old ;)

Oh a boy/girl who had no social skills and wanted to stay at home like a hermit.
that may be an option :)
 
Not at all a reason to have children, but I do wonder how people like my mother would have coped through the last 3 months with no children. Lost my dad 15 years ago. She lives on her own in the arse end of nowhere - little Welsh village. She's got lots of friends, but most of her social life revolves around her 12 grandchildren (who she can't see, obviously). She's had her 4 children and 4 children-in-law running around after her whilst she's shielding - sorting food / day to day shopping / errands / little treats and DIY etc.

Also, again, not a reason in itself, but if it was just my wife and I, I would imagine the loss of losing one or other would be incredible and made worse with no children.
 
I do envy childless couples sometimes - all that free time, disposable income...

But then, suddenly, life seems to have a real purpose when you have kids.

Ideally kids would be born around aged 7 ish, then perhaps grow to about 10 or 11 at a push then stop.
Perhaps then to vanish and reappear about 40 years later to look after you when your old ;)

Oh a boy/girl who had no social skills and wanted to stay at home like a hermit.
that may be an option :)

I'd take a newborn to 5 years, then skip to 25 ish? How simple life was with milk and changing nappies. When kids hit school age, the education system sucks the life out of them and you're left scratching your head constantly thinking what a crap parent you are.
 
Ideally kids would be born around aged 7 ish, then perhaps grow to about 10 or 11 at a push then stop.
Perhaps then to vanish and reappear about 40 years later to look after you when your old ;)

Oh a boy/girl who had no social skills and wanted to stay at home like a hermit.
that may be an option :)

.

Definition of 'teenager'
Word Frequency



teenager
(tiːneɪdʒəʳ )
Word forms: plural teenagers
COUNTABLE NOUN
A boy/girl who had no social skills and wanted to stay at home like a hermit.
Synonyms: youth, minor, adolescent, juvenile More Synonyms of teenager
 
I had children relatively late on at 37, (Although i was a step parent) so my 'Good times' were plentiful. However the joy and the unrequited love that children give beats any event, night out, achievement I've ever experienced.

Current girlfriend wants to cement our relationship with a child, 'A little us'. I'd prefer to marry first then have a child, I've had the snip so the journey will be interesting. The snip is probably my biggest life regret.
 
I used to enjoy taking girlfriends boy out for the day on my motorcycle for 250m high cliff top walks :)
good walk to the beach, throw stones in the sea, LONG walk along cliff tops, have a burger and fries, then climb over some rocks, walk back to bike, go to main seaside town, on the pier, then into down, mcdonalds for example then back on my bike home :)

And he was at that age where he'd just do as he was told and be happy :)

When they grow up they stop doing what they were told and need a firm slap to bring back into line.
(perhaps that last bit is why I'd struggle as a parent!) ;)

My motto, be happy, generous, involving, interesting, engaging and all that.
But the moment get out of line BE VERY AWARE ;)
 
When they grow up they stop doing what they were told and need a firm slap to bring back into line.
(perhaps that last bit is why I'd struggle as a parent!) ;)

My motto, be happy, generous, involving, interesting, engaging and all that.
But the moment get out of line BE VERY AWARE ;)

I'm not sure whether this is a joke or not, but as a 41 year old man that grew up with a physically abusive father, I can reflect on my life and quite categorically tell you that no child ever 'needs a firm slap'.
What children do need is parents that understand how to parent better without resorting to turning their brain off and using violence, intimidation and fear to bring a child 'into line'.

Any grown adult that hits someone smaller than them is one thing. A fudging bully.

Funnily enough, after I grew up to be a fairly big bloke, no-one seems to want to use violence towards me. I wonder why that is? :rolleyes:
 
I'm not sure whether this is a joke or not, but as a 41 year old man that grew up with a physically abusive father, I can reflect on my life and quite categorically tell you that no child ever 'needs a firm slap'.
What children do need is parents that understand how to parent better without resorting to turning their brain off and using violence, intimidation and fear to bring a child 'into line'.

Any grown adult that hits someone smaller than them is one thing. A fudging bully.

Funnily enough, after I grew up to be a fairly big bloke, no-one seems to want to use violence towards me. I wonder why that is? :rolleyes:

I was being light hearted of course with my comment, and am fully aware of modern parenting when placed against how many or us of a certain age where, lets say, dissuaded from certain things by certain actions.
I would of course have to made the statement
And I don't in anyway turn this into a talk about this, as we all know how these topics end ;)
But there is a vast vast difference, and I'm sure we all know this, between the occasional slap on the legs or something as a child from loving parents who were just doing what people has done for thousands of years, and what's regarded as child abuse.
Totally different to having abusive parents.
Both my parents were great parents, to the point of perfection, no arguments ever!
Yet I did on a rare occasion get a little slap but it was a minor thing and that was that.

Anyway, yes, I was not being serious about hitting children.
 
I was being light hearted of course with my comment, and am fully aware of modern parenting when placed against how many or us of a certain age where, lets say, dissuaded from certain things by certain actions.
I would of course have to made the statement
And I don't in anyway turn this into a talk about this, as we all know how these topics end ;)
But there is a vast vast difference, and I'm sure we all know this, between the occasional slap on the legs or something as a child from loving parents who were just doing what people has done for thousands of years, and what's regarded as child abuse.
Totally different to having abusive parents.
Both my parents were great parents, to the point of perfection, no arguments ever!
Yet I did on a rare occasion get a little slap but it was a minor thing and that was that.

Anyway, yes, I was not being serious about hitting children.

Thanks for clarifying @Tempest.
 

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